so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

this is stupid .... yep

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops