Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Take wrong turns

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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