Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

Small Penis.

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

poo

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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