Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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Why was the black child found dead in water? He was raped and thrown into a river.

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What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

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joe diragi whacks off his dog

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

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Honk if you're Amish!

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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