Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There once was this guy and he fell down

thumb_up thumb_down -2

XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops