Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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