How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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