I just threw up..In my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is it too late to do? Apologize...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops