Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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what's brown and sticky A stick!

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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