Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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hi

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Pickles are moist.

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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It says so on your cap.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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