Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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kathryn atkins

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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21

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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