My parents died!

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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