How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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What happens when Terran Hansen has sex with a cow? Jesse Z.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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