Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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The GOV and the WHO?

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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