A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Im gay What about you

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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