A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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God Does exist to all thoes atheist out there!!! All you have to have is faith. I corinthians 1:18 "for the message of the cross is foolishness to thoes who are perishing, but for thoes who are saved it is the power in christ Jesus!! <3

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Equal rights!

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Yo Momma so old, that she has arthritis.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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