Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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