How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Your mom is so old she died

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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