What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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There's two Cherys in a bath one chery asks the other one to pass the soap the other chery said what do I look like, a typewriter?

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What happened to the guy who drank poison? he died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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Blacks

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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