it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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A seal walks into a club.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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WILLY

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

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Fat people

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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