You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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