An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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what is orange and blue 2 colors

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops