How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

Justin Bieber

How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

I put my baby in a microwave.

what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

I would write a racist joke, but racism is offensive

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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