What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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Once upon a time a homeless man was walking down the street. He stopped suddenly and realized he didn't know how to read. So he walked to the library to find someone to teach him. A woman was sitting at one of the tables so the homeless man walked up to her and asked, "Can you teach me how to read?" The woman stared at the homeless man for a few moments. Then she replied to him saying, "Not until you take a bath." Realizing that he smelled awful and that his face was covered in dirt he nodded towards the woman and left to go find a shower house. The homeless man came upon a hotel and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me sir, may I take a shower here?" The receptionist gave the man a long hard look and said, "Not until you find a better set of clothes." The homeless man looked at himself and saw that his clothes were quite old and worn out so he left the hotel to find a clothing store. He finds a clothing store and asks an employee, "Sir, may I have a new shirt, pants, socks, shoes and a pair of underwear?" The employee quickly said in reply, "Not until you pay for them." The homeless man remembered that he indeed was poor and didn't have a penny to his name. So then he walks out of the store to go find a job and make some money. He happens across a storage facility moving many heavy boxes. He walks up to the supervisor and asks, "Pardon me sir, do you need any help with moving these boxes? If you can pay me a few dollars I will help you." The supervisor said to him, "Sure, start moving them to that unit in the corner there. So the homeless man worked until dusk, made $55 dollars, went back to the clothes store, bought new clothes, waked back to the hotel and took a shower, and finally walked over to the library where the woman was still sitting and learned how to read. He walked out of the library feeling accomplished and full of pride. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. He slipped on the curb into traffic and was hit by a car, dying on impact.

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Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Asians look like they have down syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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