knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did you poop because you are a poop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what are you mike bibby?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Dig Bick Your dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In your case, maybe because it is time to stop thinking so much, and begin living life, if the world cannot appreciate a wise man such as yourself, maybe that man should stop being wise, and begin being happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops