A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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Joke

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im not food

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops