Whats 1+1? The answer!

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings,whats worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust?.. 3 bee stings

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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