What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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