What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

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What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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YEAH THEY DO!

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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