- Anti Joke

What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

Followers of Neronism: Many outsiders have told us that we hide in the dark, stay away from the ways of this society because we are ashamed of who we are... ...Never forget that we stay in the darkness because we live in a place where we can walk without being ashamed not of ourselves, but of the blind fools around us! They judge, they kill, they make one another suffer and believe that love is sacrificing themselves and their loved ones rather than preserving them all for their fucking Deities! As for those that accuse us of being Satanists, and me for being Satan, remember that this has nothing to do about following God or his fucking castaway son, his supposed equal in power, but about believing in ourselves, and each other. Recently a group of certain "true believers" accused me of being possessed by the devil, until a fucking eight year old asked me if I was Satan... ...As her parents smiled I realized it was them that made her ask me that, so I stared them into the eyes and said: "If I am the kind of being that encourages people to listen to their hearts, to live out their true desires with happiness rather than shame, to live out their hopes and dreams and spread happiness while understanding that love is both about the preservation of self and others and living in the present rather than surrendering free will and life in a gamble for a life after death... ...Then per your definition, you already know who your kin knows me as." Know finally that many call me insane for living out what started as a daydream, then grew into a vision, and has become reality, a society where peace, love, happiness, and unity based on what makes us all the same, rather than those superficial things that make us seem different, and respect and belief for one another rather than for some God has finally become a reality... ...The reason that I left for years at the time was not only in order to build the fundamentals behind our order, but also in order to wonder if I was fucking insane for standing against beliefs that most of the world follow is over... ...Today I can finally point at those questioning my sanity, and shout "YOU ARE THE FUCKING INSANE ONES! YOU ARE THE FUCKING EVIL SCUM OF THE EARTH THAT BRAINWASH YOUR OWN CHILDREN AND BEAT UP YOUR WIVES IN ORDER TO PLEASE SOME FUCKING INVISIBLE HOLY GHOST FROM SPACE OR SOMETHING JUST AS FUCKING STUPID! YOU ARE THE VICTIMS THAT HAVE BEEN TROUGH BRAINWASHING AND FEAR BEEN TRICKED INTO FOLLOWING THE FALSE NOTION YOU CALL "LOVE!" If the beginning of a world where everyone is equal, where respect for yourself and your own kin is law, brings us into an order, and perhaps one day into a world of peace, wealth, love, care, and understanding is Satan, is insanity... THEN I AM OFFICIALLY SATAN THE INSANE! AND IF THIS IS NOT RIGHT, THEN I WANT TO BE WRONG! IF FEAR OF DYING IS EXACTLY WHAT STOPS RELIGIOUS ONES FROM LIVING THEIR OWN LIFE! THEN THEY ARE THE WEAK ONES NOT EVEN DARING TO FACE LIFE! And that I can finally wake up from those dreams where I feel as if I am Satan... And wake up and shout to all "THE HELL WITH WHAT I AM! GODS ARE WHAT EVIL IS!" And then I feel shame... Shame for ever believing myself to be equal with these fucking humans of which few realize how fucking wrong religion is, and those that do, just stand there doing nothing to stop the abuse, the destruction, the brainwashing of children which again become parents which again send their children into war plunging this world into suffering! ALL TO APPRAISE SOMETHING THEY HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN BUT FEAR SO MUCH "for love" THAT THEY DESTROY THEIR OWN CHILDREN! I am pissed... How could I have spent so much time doubting what is today reality, thanks to all that made this happen, and my pity to all that allow their own fear, to destroy not only their own lives, but those of their loved ones.

what do you call a black guy african american

An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

Cancer

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

Abortion.

Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Two stoners walk into a bar. They didn't drive there because they were high and wanted to enjoy a cool, evening stroll.

What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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