A woman went outside for some fresh air.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

Lil Wayne's rapping career

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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