what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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A car walks into a bar.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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