Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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Then none of us want to be right.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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your mum

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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Asians look like they have down syndrome.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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