A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

whats funny about this joke? nothing.

What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

I am dyslexic

Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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