What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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Women's Rights

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops