two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Englishman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How Do You Fart Eat Beans

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +6

7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops