What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

RUN

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do fish smoke? sea weed

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What do you call a cow wearing a hat? A: A cow wearing a hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

thumb_up thumb_down -17

i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops