What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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Gus's mom

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops