What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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An irish man walks into a bar... Hes met with an intervention of family and friends who are all very concerned about his drinking problem and well being.

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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