boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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if got a joke if fogot it

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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