Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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What does? 42

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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You know what's gay?? Lesbians

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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