A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Racial Equality

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops