Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Badabing.

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Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

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10inch nice

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops