Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

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PerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerú

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What is red? A rock painted red

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR S H I T STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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RUN

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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