teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

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#Getweird

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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