You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

no.

what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

Stop me if you heard this one before.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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