Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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