A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

hahahahahah http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sonny+bartlett&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbnid=s37cS73V74A8YM:&imgrefurl=http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCASl7llFhDpTF8vwjDlGI_g/videos&docid=kJoLzGiYRM-2AM&itg=1&imgurl=https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-si7_hCcHI7E/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/HzlEl3ilyyM/s55-c-k/photo.jpg&w=55&h=55&ei=GrgsUZ_kJqac0AWExIC4BQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=616&iact=rc&dur=188&sig=111947294788926856610&page=1&tbnh=55&tbnw=55&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0,i:109&tx=27&ty=11

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops