What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops