If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

how do you save a black man ... u don't

Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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