why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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