How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Wright flyer

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops