Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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i hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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why was the tolit stoped up. because it had phoo

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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