Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jebron Lames.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Please don't shoot me

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops