Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Robin, get in the car!

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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