An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

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what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

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are you gay does your mom know

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Sometimes i'm hungry.

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What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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