Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Mooses

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The Ohio State Buckeyes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops