How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

Your mother is average.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

Ebola

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

Irish sobriety

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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