What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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If you dislike this you are a homosexual (watch how many dislike this)

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Penis

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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